I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
