i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
