i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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