If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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