There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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