I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
