goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm too high and old for this...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
