I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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