oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
