I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
