I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
