Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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