i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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