with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
