Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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