It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
