The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
