I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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