You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
