We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
