Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
