if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
