Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
