Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
