I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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