Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
