Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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