If i come over, it means nothing
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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