So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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