He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There r osticjed everywhere
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
