Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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