Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
