What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
