i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
