dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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