Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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