chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
