sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
