So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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