Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
