Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
