her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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