Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
this will be a night to untag.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
