i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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