i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
