I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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