okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
