Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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