Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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