Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
