Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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